He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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