You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I look better un-naked...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
