That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So here I am, sexting at work.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
