Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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