Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
