Me. At least after what I've been through.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Randomize
