You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Everyone says I win the strip club
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
