Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
