I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
