Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
