So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
