hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I will be naked everywhere
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
