i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
