This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
