two words: eviction party
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
