Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
