i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
