we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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