Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
