I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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