Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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