My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
