It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
