her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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