Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just pee around me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
