I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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