He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
