It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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