Just cropdusted the office
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
