By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
