Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
