At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
