i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
