So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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