i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
