I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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