Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
