did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
