Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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