I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
