I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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