Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
