READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
