also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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