yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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