Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
