I'd wear matching sweaters with you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
