I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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