i just google imaged poop.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
