I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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